Many years later I finally dived into that whole thing, to understand it all. It´s funny, because it was memories that had never really been put into words, so I sort of never really processed it. When I was finally ready, I found out that I actually could remember a few things from before I was born on earth. All I remember was that I was in the most wonderful place. Everything I needed was there, and I felt everyone I needed also was there. I had no needs or wants, and I was doing whatever it was that I was doing, until there was this sudden shift. I felt like I was living in some sort of small community, or I was connected to a specific area. I was out somewhere, when all of a sudden everyone around me turned away from me and disappeared. I was in shock. I was sad, angry and I started to scream my head off. I was standing there screaming and screaming, when three entities surrounded me. There were no audible voices, but I understood that it was time to go. I knew deep inside it was a decision from an earlier agreement, but I was just so caught up having fun, I sort of had forgotten about it, and when it was time...I didn´t want to go. I was arguing with the three entities and trying everything to stay there, but they were adamant. It was time to go. Finally this year, 2026, I tuned into that specific memory. I believe I had full knowledge of where I was and what was there. I believe the knowledge was removed almost 100 precent, because I had to go back to earth and learn, equally like everyone else.

When I was in my late 20s, a former friend lent me a book written by Sylvia Browne, The Other Side and Back. When I read the part where we decide to go back, I was shocked to my core. Sylvia explained about how everyone turns away from us, to prepare our departure and to prepare us for the conditions on earth. I cannot even explain how understood I felt, or how shocked I was to read this. I wish I had met her in real life.

The last thing I remember was the three entities getting closer to me, repeating it was time to go. I finally accepted it, because I could feel that if I stayed any longer, I´d lose the last bit of the memories of that place. Every second I was there, I lost more and more memories, and I could feel them fade more and more, and that was what finally made me leave.

I felt like a hole was opened on the ground, and I fell and fell. The next thing I remember is coming out of my mother. I felt cold; I felt terrible. I felt pain in my lungs. I was lying there crying and screaming and making everything even worse. After a short while someone took me and held me. I looked into her eyes. She was crying and was so happy, but I didn´t like looking into her eyes. I knew instantly she had a bad temper and that I was not safe. Later on in life, all that sadly came to be true. I´ll be 54 in a few months, and I always try to understand things. Some days are good and some days are so hard. Yet, I feel like I am in a good place in my life, and that it is becoming easier to accept and let go. I am grateful for my life, and I believe my Lord in Heaven has guided me all my life, even when I absolutely didn´t want anything to do with him.

All my life I have had very, very vivid dreams. When I was younger, I´d wake up and think: “Wow, I watch too many phantasmagoric movies!” Getting older I understand how the vivid dreams were guidelines, warnings, blessings and what not.

The hundreds and hundreds of NDEs I have watched, until this day, always help me understand my dreams and other experiences I have. Just as soon as I think I´ve gotten around my many vivid dreams…I´d watch a random NDE video and someone´d say: “the council of men.” I´d go, “Wait a minute,” and I´d remember parts of a dream about seeing this council of men, in monks robes, working with great seriousness and authority, and yet you could sense how devoted they were to serve. There´s more to that dream, but I sense it´s for later. I understand that nothing is random. Some days I find that hilarious. There is so much to tell, and I already hope by now that I can attend the IANDS Conference in 2027. I need you guys. For once in my life, I want to be around people who will not question or doubt me when I tell something. I need you and I cannot wait to see you all.

You see, on my maternal side, I have both female and male shamans as ancestors, and on my paternal side I have the clairvoyants. I understand being an only child to my parents…I´d have these things in me. I believe my very first memories were from the other side. I believe those memories were meant to be remembered, so that I would know where I came from and how loved I am, when days turned dark. My first memories kept me alive, and I cannot see it in any other way. Of course I couldn’t see that when I was young. I couldn´t understand why I should have specks of memories of such a wonderful place, why it was taken away from me, and why my life was so miserable. Being 53 now, I understand and I am grateful. It wasn´t taken away. I decided to do this life, and I understand the importance and the value, and I try to see that truth and light for others too.